Rescued… My Journey
By Telma Loux on July 7th, 2010

Rescued... My Journey

I was born and raised in the Marshall Islands. When I was three months old, my birth mom gave me away.   She was 20 years old, jobless, and homeless. Because of her situation, she felt that she couldn’t care for me. She gave me to a woman, Elsa Helai, who raised me until I was 11 years old. Mama Elsa tried her best to care for me but she was going through a tough time herself.  As a young girl I had to take care of myself.  So often I felt abandoned and alone but I would try to hide my feelings and pretend that everything was okay.

I wanted to know about my birth mom and why I was given away. For years I heard many different stories – many of them were lies.  Do all children who are given away have an ache to find out why they were not wanted or was it just me? If only I could have been given the truth. I remember one time, my cousin was teasing me, telling me that Mama Elsa and her husband only took me in because nobody wanted me, because nobody cared about me. I screamed at him, ran away and cried. I believed everything he said to me that day. From then on, I learned to shut off my feelings. On the outside, I looked happy, like everything was fine; but I was a totally different person on the inside. I had a side that I didn’t want anyone to know because I was afraid of being judged or mocked.

I learned to look out for myself.  Street kids were mean to mean and I learned to fight.   I ate whatever I could get my hands on because there were many times when I was desperate for food.  I would steal money from my Aunt’s store. I was left alone most of the time.  So often kids complain that they have parents who give them a lot of rules.  They do not realize that those rules can create an environment of safety and love.  No one cared what I did – I had no boundaries, no one to tell me when to be home, no one to care about what I watched on TV, no one to give me advice or help me when I needed it. It was a lonely and frightening world.

My life changed in the summer of 2002.  I went to a conference event where Derek Loux was leading worship.   His wife Renee’ was there with her two adopted twin daughters who were also from the Marshall Islands.  Renee invited me to come over to their apartment the next day just to hang with her, Teyola and Keyola. I came the next morning, and kept coming.  Everyday for the next for the next two weeks, I visited them and stayed with them!  It was very hard when it came time for them to leave.  I had never been in such a loving environment and seen such an amazing family.  I was so sad when they left but Renee’ made me a promise.   She promised that they would come back for me! After waiting for what I thought was long, 6 months, my prayers were answered and I was on a plane heading to America! I was excited for the new life ahead of me! Little did I know that everything in my life was about to change!

Originally Derek and Renee’ didn’t plan on adopting me but intended to bring me to the states to get medical help.  But God had different plans for me.  One night Derek had a dream about me. In this dream he was driving me to my new adoptive family.  It was pouring rain and our car had a flat tire.  Derek stopped to change the tire. In the dream I got out of the car and I was bawling and Derek asked me what was wrong.  I told him that I didn’t want to go to another home – that I wanted to live with him and Renee’.   Derek said he woke up from that dream knowing that I was going to be his daughter!  He told Renee this story and she too knew that I belonged with them!

Beginning of 2006, our family left to go to the Marshall Islands to finalize my adoption. After being adopted, it took awhile for me to realize that I did not have to be in charge of me anymore; there was actually a family that wanted to take care of me. It took a little bit before I felt free to be me, free to hope for my future, free to feel loved, secure, and blessed.  There are so many kids that live on the streets in the Marshall Islands, but God knew me and rescued me through two very loving and Christ like people.  When I think that I was handpicked by the Maker of the universe  – that He saw something in me that no else did  – I am overwhelmed with thankfulness.    He gave me a new Father and Mother who taught me who I was in Jesus.   I am redeemed, washed clean from every lie that was ever spoken over my life…  and rescued!

July 7th, 2010
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