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Tattered Soul
By Kinsey Thurlow on November 20th, 2012

I once knew a little girl who had lived in an orphanage for most of her ten short years. Throughout those years, many heavy burdens were slung around her neck, so heavy she could not lift them. In effort to bear each burden, she stirred herself to become stronger and tougher. And though she did grow harder and tougher, the crushing weight never felt lesser. The burdens pressed strongly upon her, and as each new burden was cast over her head, it engraved a harsh wound on her soul.

One of the first weights came when she was only a baby, hungry and crying, but no one came to her. And though she was so small, the words were etched largely upon her soul–UNLOVED. Her heart smothered under this new throbbing weight.

Another burden fell on her two years later when she was brought to an orphanage. As she sat alone, day after day, the word REJECTED painfully carved itself upon her. As the years passed, her soul became utterly tattered and scarred as the burdens pierced their cruel words inside of her— ALONE, STUPID, UGLY, WORTHLESS.

One day a family came for her, just as she’d always dreamed of. However, the burdens that had scarred her stayed. This new family called her daughter, but the words ALONE and REJECTED ran deeper and rang truer to her. They told her she was so beautiful and smart, but shouts of UGLY and STUPID rose up from her scored soul. Every day they said they loved her, but the roars of UNLOVED arose like a shield against their affections toward her.

Her family wept often because they saw that their daughter’s heart was so broken. They did not relent in their prayers for her, but they came before the Father day after day, asking Him to heal her orphaned heart. And though it seemed like very little was changing, they pressed in, wearied, yet with some hope still flickering.

But something was happening as they prayed, though they could not see it. The Father was hearing, and He was responding. He began to reach into those deep, deep places in the daughter’s heart, places where no one else can reach. With His own finger, He touched each scar, and erased the embittered words. Now new words could be engraved upon her soul.

And one day Daddy hugged his daughter, and instead of responding with a stiff body and limp arms as she usually did, she folded her arms around him and hugged back. Daddy cried, but this time out of pure joy. There in her father’s embrace, the word LOVED began to make its impression deep within her.

Her family loved through the ache, and entered into the Father’s heart for their daughter. And hand in hand with the Father, they began to see BEAUTIFUL and ACCEPTED wisp through their little girl’s soul. A broken, orphaned heart was meeting its restoration—that which comes only from the hand of the Father.

Kinsey Thurlow

Illustrations by Bethany Hackmann

 

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November 20th, 2012
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